Theoretically, goal setting appears to be an easy task. You write down what you want/desire. You make a plan. Then you take action.
In any course, seminar, webinar this is the outline on how you approach the tasks at hand.
We now know only 8% of people achieve their goals. So, you have to ask: what is happening to the other 92%? Don’t they know this is easy? What is stopping them? And. That is precisely the key to this whole topic – what is stopping them from achieving their goals? It is not that people have given up on dreams and desires. It is just that at some point in their lives they stopped because they kept failing to achieve.
That’s is the point of this article!
People generally do not know what the real issues are in these instances and when they fail a few times they take that as a signal that this end result, failure, is permanent and they give up too early. And. They do not really understand how life works. They think if they do not achieve that exact goal in the manner described, with the particular qualities and attributes that were initially outlined in setting that particular goal, then they have achieved nothing. So, they do not see the small changes made. They do not celebrate their small wins because they do not recognise that they are wins.
The point about goal-setting is that it is a road map. The purpose of the road map is to help you navigate from where you are now to where you want to be. Along the way there are many different roads/diversions to take. You might get off track. You might detour and, in the end, you might revise your original plan and decide that the initial destination, the end result you desired, is not really where you want to be.
The second thing to think about is the difference between a want and a real goal, which is really a decision and a choice. It’s about understanding the difference between choosing and wanting. You see, when you want something it is a bit like dreaming. It’s always out there in the ether, never within reach. It’s a bit like saying:’ how can I achieve the result I desire without putting in too much effort?’ That’s about trying, not actually deciding and doing!
Whereas, when you set a goal and have intention to achieve it, that means you have chosen the end result. You have made a decision. Choosing is about deciding, then planning then taking action. And, putting into practice baby action steps, what you need to do to move along the chosen path.
So, really, initially the steps were: want/desire, plan and action. It now becomes: decide on desire/actually choose to have that desire, plan, then take action in baby steps, and adjust accordingly.
The interesting thing about choices, making a decision about what you truly desire to come into your life, is, it forces you to re-think what is it you really want. For example, if you want to be really rich and you chose to opt into a get-rich quick scheme and all you are thinking about is wanting to be rich, you will blow away your money rapidly because it might be something you feel you ‘should’ or ‘ought’ to do, and is not something that is a real choice. If you are constantly trying to find the easy way out of achieving goals instead of making the decision to do whatever it takes and choosing to do so, you will constantly and continually fail.
So, it becomes a choice: wanting v decision.
The third aspect to think about is that you need to anticipate that there might be/will always be, obstacles along the way to derail you. Your thoughts, beliefs, lack of action, past experiences, interpretations and assumptions, all of your habits will come flooding back to keep you off track because it is not easy to be consistent and persistent in going for goals. Just ask the 8% of successful goal achievers!
The fourth aspect is to always outline the smallest baby steps you can take to overcome inertia and get you started. This may mean that you get up earlier and put in fifteen minutes focusing on this goal, why you want to achieve it, what it will mean for you when you do achieve it and to actually visualise and attach a happy feeling/positive emotion, when you see yourself actually achieving that end.
The fifth aspect is that any goal, decision you have made to have something in your life, needs to be something that inspires you to continue along this path. If it doesn’t then how will you be able to put in the necessary work to achieve your desired lifestyle change.
The sixth aspect that people often forget is that you need to be able to channel the mindset of a successful goal achiever, one that opens the door to the possibilities, that activates creativity and helps keep you going and which gives you the energy to keep going in the face of those obstacles that we know are going to arise.
And, finally, to get into that mindset takes a lot of unravelling of bad habits along the way, habits that you have kept repeating over and over yet expecting a different result. The most crucial habit identified is the stress response habit.
Stress makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do. It makes you erratic and reactive. When you understand what you do physiologically when you react to a stressor trigger, you will be able to retrain yourself into becoming responsive and not reactive.
Stress is the biggest cause of any dis-ease and failure in your life. When you can grab hold of that bad habit of how you respond to stress, and change your behaviour, you will have created a guaranteed path to success.
In summary, successful goal setting and achievement comes down to the initial choice where you make a decision that you want something in your life and you actively pursue that, according to your plan. The decision becomes an act of choosing. You need to be aware of the obstacles because they will inevitably arise. You have to be clear about what you desire is, what you truly want, and make a conscious choice around this. It is about putting in the work.
You need to take the smallest baby steps towards something that inspires and excites you, have the mindset of a successful achiever, but most of all, you have to resolve the stress issues, the beliefs, attitudes and past experiences and interpretations of those, that have kept you stuck, before you can actually let go of the past, and take action to move forward.
No one said it was easy. However, the effort of becoming the person you need to be,to achieve your goals successfully, can be awe-inspiring!